I’ve Got That John Carter Feeling Again

I took my littlest dude to see John Carter again last night.

It had been his last day of school and he'd attended even though he had a raging headache. Didn't want to miss saying goodbye to his friends and teacher. Didn't want to miss the end-of-year slideshow. He took it easy the rest of the day and when evening came, decided he was up to a mom and son date to see his new favorite movie. What's a mom gonna do when her son requests a special date with her? Turn into a puddle and take him on the date, that's what.

So we ate most excellent greasy food at a fresh burger -n- fry joint, had the boy pop some ibuprofen, then wandered over to the local three-buck theater and hunkered down for some Tharks, Virginia Cavalry men, red Mars princesses, and evil blue dudes with electric chrysalises of death. 

And you know what? The movie was just as much of a cool space opera as it was the first time. And Disney still majorly blew its ad campaign. And as a side note, they also blew its prologue. I mean, the beginning of this movie is confusing and herky-jerky, and has a pitifully abrupt segué into the main body of the film–at which point it finally becomes delightfully western/starwars-y and cool.

Now this is a bit of a puzzle: people either love this movie or hate it. There's no in-between.  No idea why there is such polarization. We loved it. Heck, I loved it. Maybe I'm easy to please and corny and I miss Luke Skywalker. I needed some Captain John Carter: Space Guy. So did my kid. That's good enough for us.

Here are some of my boy's observations during the flick:

"Did all those things grow naturally there, or did they buy a bunch of rocky stuff and take it to Texas to film it?"

"Auuughhh! They kissed! My friend said they didn't kiss, but they KISSED! He must have missed that."

"Hey! That wasn't bad. All he did was rip her in half. And you didn't even see it really!"

"Wait! Did they kill his wife and daughter? That's terrible!"

"Hahahaha! 'You are ugly, but you are beautiful' That's the best line!"

"When he says, 'your spirit annoys me,' is it because he's an optimist and stuff?"

–And then, looking at the theater marquee where several film names are squashed together in a very small space: "Hah! Look at that! The movie is really called 'John Carter Bully'! And then there's 'Lorax The Vow!'"

In the end it doesn't matter if this movie is life-changing and fabulous or not (which it is 🙂 ) What matters is someone spent a lot of time and a boat-load of money to help a slightly sick ten year-old boy feel great. It took skill. It took many people with many talents. And I'm grateful.

John Carter of Mars? Thank you. "It is good to fly!"