Any of y'all remember Helen Reddy? Songstress from Australia who hit the scene in the 1960's? And then in the 1970's really kicked it with the song "I Am Woman (Hear Me Roar)"? Women everywhere identified because we were just starting to grow some wings and say, Whoa dude. You don't see me right. I've got a brain. I can do stuff. And what I do matters. Watch me. Remember her?
No? What am I, old? Here, check this out. Don't flinch too much over the crocheted halter top or the bell-bottoms with the 14 mile long zipper. Just pay attention to the words:
So I was thinking about Ms. Reddy and her woman-roar-song the other day when I read about a new animated movie coming out. It's called Brave, and its protagonist is a girl. That's right, an actual girl. As the main character. This like, never happens. Unless its a straight-to-video Barbie movie.
Brave, as it turns out, is about a Scottish princess (woohoo Scotland! Next place I'm going to go! I must pay homage to my Stuart forebears. And my, er, MacSomething forebears too) who cares not for the elegant trappings of being a medeval princess in the land of the Scots. So she sets off across mountains and rivers, fighting beasts and scaling cliffs. All in search of adventure. And to prove she is woman, hear her roar. Wanna see?
Well, I think this is awesome. Helen Reddy would be proud. I am proud. It's an actual girl up there with her own actual adventure movie.
But . . .
I absolutely believe and can attest that women are brave and strong and brilliant and fortitudinous and can fight bears and shoot bows and sing songs of the liberation while wearing loosely crocheted halter tops. And I firmly believe that women have spent much of their historical existence being at the very least shoved onto the back burner, and at the very horrific most, being abused and oppressed. A heartfelt thanks, salute, and shout out to every woman (and man) who has fought, suffered, persevered, protested, and marched right up Capitol Hill's nose to give me the rights I enjoy today. And OoRah to the women who still see wrongs and seek to right them. Because there are boatloads of wrongs still out there.
But . . .
Why, if I want to prove that I am powerful and valuable and worthy of respect, do I have to do it by showing I'm as good as a man? Don't get me wrong. I love men. They are strong and brave and extremely helpful with the plumbing. But why does the message (from roaring women) seem to constantly be that men are my litmus test as a woman? Doesn't that sort of scream in the face of feminism, which is trying to prove that women have merit all on their own? If I have my own fabulous, respect-worthy merit, shouldn't it be able to stand by itself as woman-merit? Not as Look-at-me-I-can-shoot-a-bear-and-scale-cliffs-and-fly-airplanes-and-fight-on-the-front-lines-just-like-a-man-so-I-am-as-good-as-a-man merit? If I have to do everything men do to prove I'm just as good as them, it feels like I am asserting that men ARE the best thing to be, and so I've gotta be just like them to be valuable. Not (psh) a woman, who does (psh) woman-things.
Puh-freaking-LEASE.
Do you want to know why I think Helen Reddy said we are women hear us roar? Well, it's my blog and I'm going to tell you. I think it's because women are strong. We are smart. We can climb mountains. We can shoot. We drive race cars. We can perform neurosurgery. AND we can gestate two cells into a full-on human being, going through unbelievable emotional and physiological changes in the process (some of which are permanent), push that sucker from our tiny bodies, feed, clothe, and care for it, give up a great deal of what we wanted to do in life in order to suffer extreme sleep deprivation, loss of peace and health as we worry and get vomited on, give constant 24/7 nurturing, research endlessly to learn to deal with different developmental stages, sacrifice our beauty and sometimes our social and intellectual lives, and enlighten, educate, and wrap our arms around these little people, while growing ourselves into completely new and deeper human beings because of it.
And for those of us who don't have children for whatever reason, women are completely built to bring nurturing and gentleness and civilization to the world at large–which we do– and society would die a slow and painful death from lack-of-the-female-touch-ness if we weren't part of it.
Plus we can apply mascara while we drive. No guy can do that.
All of THAT is what I want respect for. Not because of what I can do just like a man. They can do that, and I love them for it. Rather because of what I can do as a woman. Because of what is inherent in me. Because my woman characteristics and woman-ness are seriously valuable. All by themselves.
So excuse me if I don't need to be a man to prove I'm a woman. I like me how I am. I like that I can bring softness and silliness to my kids and other peoples' kids. I like that I am a wicked awesome cook and decorate my home and make center pieces and do all the stuff that men think is too girlie but would secretly miss it if we stopped doing it. I like that my huz thinks I look pretty in a dress. Part of my job as a woman is making him go weak at the knees. (I can totally do it and it's REALLY fun.)
Men: you keep being men. I need you to be strong. I want you to defend me against bad guys and dragons and clogged drainpipes. I'm too busy to do it and I don't have time to buff myself up enough anyway. I like you to love your kids. I like you to be a mush-face when you hold babies. I like you to be smart and do The Right Things and go earn the moolah so I can be home doing woman-things. Thank you for doing that for me. And thank you for respecting me for what I do for you. I'm just as proud of the fact that I can do girl things as I am that I can do boy things. And I am so happy that you are too.
Thanks for hearing me roar. Just don't roll your eyes if I spend a little time humming and shopping too. It's part of what makes you like me so much.
And women – Be women and be proud. It's who we are, and it rocks. Just the way it is.
I know just what you mean. In academics, you could only be the right kind of woman if you totally ignored your family and spent every waking moment doing your research – just like the typical man of the 50s and 60s. Even though it was the 90s. In my department, families were a hiss and a byword. I hated that. I’m sorry that I had to choose, but choosing the family was the right thing to do.
Agreed, Robin… and I love that Helen Reddy didn’t have funky hair, fake lashes, a boob job, or 10 pounds of make-up! And I love you post- yes, we should not be measured by the man-yardstick, but by our very own woman-yardstick! Rock on!!
Agreed and Agreed! And you both have been WOMAN to the nth degree. Real womanly women of woman-ness. Which is why you rock.
I’m reading an excellent book by Susan Wittig Albert, Ph.D., called “Work of Her Own.” The preface alone is worth checking the book out. She puts eloquently into words the things so many thinking women feel.
My words here: So many women point to “equal employment opportunity” as a sign that things have changed, but one thing hasn’t changed. Our society puts it’s highest priority on qualities, jobs, and achievements that are valued by men. Women “succeed” (according to the world) only as they shoe-horn themselves into jobs that destroy their spirit, creativity and femininity. 1) Sports? Incredible pay for excellent skills. 2) Ballet or Ballroom dance-type sports? Better have a day job. 3) Hook up electrical wires or carry heavy stuff? High pay. 4) Care for children, the elderly, or the sick? Better have two jobs. 5) Sit (without having graduated high school) in plush chairs at the capital and make detailed decisions on how to run education? High pay for four years, life-time insurance and retirement, no responsibility nor accountability. 6) Teach and cherish children with all your heart and soul, spending your own money to buy the things the school can’t afford? You managed to keep your retirement this year, but we’re cutting your pay again, and next year we’ll go after your retirement again! But, you’d better make sure those kids learn, or we’ll cut your pay some more!
Sorry, got a little off-track there. Read “Work of Her Own.” It says all the things you think and feel, but can’t quite put into words.
Also: I agree with the idea of leaving certain things to the husbandly-types, but many women have to do things they never planned on (like installing their own disposal, which took six hours on my only day off.) The other thing about this film clip (Looks great!) is that I think a lot of these things are metaphorical. Her overcoming the dragons or whatever she faces represents us overcoming yet another unexpected medical bill, house repair, or illness. When I really feel hopeless, I think of Frodo and Sam, struggling through the volcanic upheaval to fling the ring into the pit. It makes me feel less alone. Probably overdramatic, but for some reason it gives me hope…and now I appear to be a nerdy guy because I like Tolkien…is it okay to like Tolkien? He was a pal of C.S. Lewis, and C.S. Lewis is acceptable…Right?
Dear Cappy-Chan-Fabulous-Writer-Friend-Of-Mine: Very well said, and I agree with all of it. I’d forgotten what wonderful facility you have with words. You should blog. You have something to say.
I’m serious.