Stuff I Am Opinionated About

1. No one, NO ONE, gets to think they are not unique or special. And just because everyone is unique and special, it doesn't mean no one is unique and special. That's what unique means. Not the same as everyone else. And because of that, you're special. Amen.
B. Whoever took the other socks from my dryer, GIVE THEM BACK! I've got a bag of singles. What am I going to do with them? Make sock puppets? Oh hey . . . 
4. CAPS LOCK IS THE GREATEST THING SINCE CHOCOLATE. AND SPIRAL SLICED HAM. AND OKAY, SLICED BREAD. NOT TO MENTION THE EXCLAMATION POINT!!!!!
5. Anyone who wants to be President should never in a million years be President. You'd have to be nuts. We should induct them. Like in baseball.
E. Who thought teen-agers and hormones was a good idea? That's like Mentos and Diet Pepsi. And you know who thought of THAT. Okay, an old dude. Still. Teenagers and hormones are a good idea like liver and chocolate are a good idea. And you know who thought of THAT.

(cricket, cricket, cricket)

F. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush? What does that even mean? We HAD two Bushes, and you know how that worked out . . . 
3. Sayings are stupid.
6. Nothing I cook EVER looks like the picture in the book. Same thing with hair cuts.
g. Who are we Saving up all the Daylight for? No seriously, where does all that extra Time go? Because I think it's been shuttled off into the Healthcare system. It's what allows doctors to schedule fourteen patients simultaneously. You know what I'm talking about. You can hear it while you wait in a succession of examination rooms; that echo-y sucking vacuum of Time sound. It's either that or the guy in the next room is getting his ears flushed . . . 
10. Nothing on Earth is better than homemade bread with jam. 

Now you know.