English is a language of evolution, and I can deal with that. But when its evolutionary track is just stupid, well, I have to say something. I think we have some language terrorism going on here. Evil people of Evil sneaking in to our psyche's while we sleep at night and sprinkling malapropisms all over our brains. Well NO MORE! For I am here to help. Here, Dear People Who Speak English And Want The Purity Back, are some antidotes to the pain. Let us keep our language strong! I mean . . . . smart.
It is:
'bated breath. NOT baited breath. Your breath has stopped, not gone fishing.
Buck naked. NOT butt naked. This refers to the color of buckskin, not the unclothed nature of your, um, posterior. Although, ultimately that IS what it is talking about, so . . . I guess it just bugs me.
I couldn't care less. NOT I could care less. It's about there being no greater degree to which you could not care. Not the possibility that you could.
You're nauseated. NOT nauseous. Oh help me. This one drives me crazy. "Nauseated" is the state of being sick to your stomach. "Nauseous" is the state of making other people sick to their stomach. To wit: "These nauseous colors are making me nauseated." Unless you really ARE someone who makes others nauseated.
There are fewer people. NOT less people. "Fewer" is used with countable nouns. "Less" is used with uncountable nouns. As in: "Fewer people walked in less snow." I suppose you could say that less people walked in fewer snow. But then I'd have to slap you with a pancake. (Mostly because that's what I just had for breakfast.)
It's a shoo-in. NOT a shoe-in. This is a horse-racing term and has to do with making noises to "shoo" a horse in the right direction. Although I like the idea of a Shoe-In. You know, where everyone comes and shares shoes. But only if they're new. Because, you know, less people get fewer athlete's foot if they don't share shoes. That makes me totally nauseous. Especially if I HAVE foot fungus.
It's a moot point. NOT a mute point. Moot means no longer requiring debate. Mute means, you can't debate even if you try because you can't talk. I need more mute points actually, per my New Year's Resolutions.
Roast beef au jus. NOT with au jus. Unless you like your roast beef with with broth.
RSVP. NOT please RSVP. Unless you like people to please respond please.
The proof of the pudding is in the eating. NOT the proof is in the pudding. The proof is IN the pudding? Do you mean to say after all these years that America's courts just needed Bill Cosby and a lunch-cup of jello-dessert to solve their cases? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TAX DOLLARS WE COULD HAVE SAVED IF SOMEONE HAD TOLD US THIS EARLIER?! And here we all thought you had to actually EAT the pudding to find out if it was good.
I can help whomever is next. NOT I can help whose next. I can't even talk about this one.
Pardon my French. Do you mean to say that &@**#&^%$*#& is French?
Irregardless is not, never has been, nor never will be a word. That is all I have to say about that. Irrespective of your irritation
It's coming down the pike. NOT pipe. Although many frankly scary things come down our pipes. I have children with a penchant for flushing things. But this is probably referring to a highway, a.k.a. pike.
And did I just hear "It's a doggy-dog world?" Please tell me I didn't. Please.
There. Now you all know. And the English-speaking world is safe. I could of gone on longer and farther, but your to kind for me to subject you to that. You know what they say, fewer is more. (I'm sure you understand what I am elluding to.)
How about "eX-pecially" rather than "especially". Now you're going to hear it everywhere. But I'm a Castle Dale girl married to a Spanish Farker, so I've got language problems galore.
Great! Thanks for saying something. Do we get to add to the list?
Just like "fewer," a person is doing "well" not good. one is an adjective, the other is an adverb. It is a good car (adjective – modifying the noun car) I am doing well (you are modifying how you are doing – the verb, thus the adverb well)
For Moot point, I like Joey's definition on Friends. It is a "Moo" point, it's like a cow's opinion – it just doesn't matter. It's Moo.
Au Jus, and RSVP, now these get me. Can I have your PIN number? (can I have your Personal Identification Number Number?) From WordPerfect days, the BIF file (Binary Information File File). To get cash, go to the Automatic Teller Machine Machine (ATM Machine). Why don't we just go get in our SUV Vehicle?
Honestly, I haven't heard the proof of the pudding is in the eating. I like it! Makes more sense, and it is true. Actions speak louder than words.
I have to say something about helping whomever is next. As a German student, the word Help is dative. Therefore whatever pronoun follows has to be dative – meaning direct object. Who is for nominative case (who is it?) but when who is the object (either direct or indirect) it becomes whom. This is one of the most misused words in English. To whom or for whom implies dative. Thus "I can help whomever is next" would be more accurate.
Now don't get me started on the misuse of "myself." or how people still can't say "give it to her and me" properly. English teachers pounded "she and I" into us, but no one uses it right. Just make 2 sentences and you will see the error. Give it to she? Give it to I? You would never say that. So why not give it to her and me? She and I think that is a better sentence.
As for pardoning my French, that is Greek to me – or in German, that is to me Spanish. Some of these things are pure idiomatic phrases
And for you who love these grammar games (like Rudolph – wasn't it? Join in any grammar games?) you would watch "Modern Family" the episode where they get on Gloria for not saying proper english phrases, or mispronouncing things. Janiel practically quotes some of the lines in here.
Thank you, thank you! And for correcting me on "whomever". Whom usually gets me.
There is the whole thing with–as Maleah brought to my mind–regional pronunciations. Which are usually considered to be correct. It's the "When in Rome"-thing. So, when Pocatello or Cincinnati are pronounced "Pocatella" and "Cincinnata" by the locals, it is correct.
So, Maleah, Justin's Spanish can be as Farky as it wants. Expecially since he's married to a writer.
I fancy myself well-versed in the English language, and yet I didn't know a few of these! Thank you.