What do you see in this picture? You've seen it before, I am sure. What does it look like to you?
A young Victorian woman gazing over her shoulder? Rich perhaps, judging by the fur draped about her shoulder. The design-house chapeau. The coiffed hair.
Now look at this picture:
What now? Old woman? Poor, judging by the ratty old fur coat and babushka on her head. Thin lips parted slightly as she mutters to herself. Or do you still see a young woman, this time wearing a choker?
Which is right? When I look at the first picture I always see the young woman. Always. I know people who see the old woman right off the bat. In the second picture, however, I can't resolve it to either a young or an old woman. I see both. And which is right? Is there a right?
I don't think there is. I think there are different perceptions, and the perceptions are based on what the individual viewer brings to the picture. Their experiences. Their way of looking at the world. Their personality.
If you google "witnesses disagree" you'll get hundreds – maybe thousands – of articles detailing how eyewitness accounts of incidents disagree with police, each other, the victims, etc. Of course they do! My husband and I can have the same experience and remember things completely differently. Sometimes even diametrically opposed. I can tell my children something and they would swear to a judge that I never told them. Even though they looked me in the eyes and nodded. (Although that may come down to them checking out when mom puts on "Lecture Face.")
Perception is a coalescing of past experience, culture, and how we interpret what we see or hear. We can work together, with a full knowledge that we all understand things differently, and accept–even revel in–those differences. Or we can fight and force each other. The first creates harmony, compromise, and peace. The second, splitting apart, dissension, hurt feelings. No one person is all right, all the time. And everyone matters – even those who disagree with us. Maybe especially those who disagree with us – because they give us the best opportunity to learn, grow, reach out and build. And in the process, everyone is loved.
Who decides how I should see things? Me. Who decides how you should? Obviously, you. Yay us! Let's get to know each other and go to the movies. And if you want to see a chick-flick and I want to watch funky dream sequences that I can't distinguish from reality, then let's do it. There are sixteen theaters for heaven's sake. We can meet afterwards for popcor . . . ice crea . . . cooki . . . burg . . . water. No problem.
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