I Would Have Saved Life as We Know it Had I been Aboard the Mayflower. Like Totally.
I should have been a pilgrim. But not the regular kind that arrived half starved and scurvyfied aboard the Mayflower. No, no. I couldn’t have been a firstie to this country. I’d have to have arrived with a later group. Say, on the June or Julyflower. Maybe even the Septemberflower. After everything had already been beaten into submission … er … civilized. You know, buildings built. A/C, central heating, and a direct connection to BBC America established. I should have been one of those pilgrims. Because I totally have the whole Put-Up-Food-For-the-Winter thing down, and those people would not have starved if I had been there.
