Valentine’s Pain Management
My husband once had this professor who was a genius at pain control. Like, you could stick a needle the size of a straw into […]
Marriage
Mom! I Married an Alien!
Psssst! C'mere. No! Don't look at me! Please! Just act normal. I don't want to draw attention. But I've gotta tell someone. Ready? I think my husband […]
Love. All You Need to Know. Because I’m an Expert. And I Write Poetry.
Love is the craziest thing life has to offer, I think. And we go through so many stages with it. Fear of it in adolescence; […]
In Which My Husband Turns Into A Werewolf
NOTE: This was published in the AF Citizen today. It's been up here before, but I thought I'd edit and share it again. Voilá, […]
Bugs. Spiders. Death to Them.
My last house–which was not in my current homey Mayberry-esque town– was, I think, built on an old Indian cricket graveyard. We moved into our […]
Communication 101 For Men: What Not to Say
Men! Are you tired of trying to read your wife's/girlfriend's/significant other's mind? Exhausted by trying to figure out what it is that you don't know and […]
Yo, Travelin’ Man! Come Mow the Lawn!
Here is something I have learned this week whilst my Huzzah has been out of town: (That's supposed to read "Huz," which is short for […]
The Secret To a Clean Bathroom–And a Happy Wife. Er. Life.
I don't know if you're like me, but there are certain household jobs that I pretty much think were invented by Satan. Cleaning bathrooms is […]
Twenty-Six Years of Wedded Blitz. I Mean Bliss.
(This is a picture of a picture and it's wonky. We look like bobble-heads on doll-bodies. Maybe we really were, actually. And yeah, that's a […]
Men Are From Mars. Women Aren’t.
We moved to Germany when I was ten. As a side-note, a few of my children have been ten years-old, so I know how young […]